Transfer

My transfer was a couple days ago, on Thursday, March 29th. I've pretty much just been lounging around and taking it easy since then. I was nervous going in that our embryos would be bad again like our first IVF, but boy was I wrong! We transferred two, 8 cell embryos, which is the best for a day 3 transfer.  One was perfect with no fragmentation and the other one was almost perfect, with very little fragmentation. We were so happy, and I couldn't stop smiling the whole time were were there! We also had 17 embryos to freeze, which doesn't happen often!

This is also the first time I have had an ultrasound guided transfer. My last doctor did things old school and skipped steps that can be pretty important. Any who, so I laid on the table, with a full bladder, while my nurse held the ultrasound thingy on my stomach. The doctor used a catheter to put the embryos in and we could see it all on the ultrasound machine! It was a little uncomfortable, but really neat. After that, I continued to lay down for about 15 minutes and then we headed home.               

Now, we just sit and wait for two weeks until my blood test. These two weeks are worse than all of the shots put together! I have to just have faith that this worked and hope for the best! I'm on progesterone shots, which can mimic pregnancy symptoms in some women, so even if I think I am pregnant, I really won't know until my blood test! But I have a good feeling this time! Fingers crossed!                                            

Retrieval Day

Yesterday was our embryo retrieval day! We arrived at the doctor at 8:30 for prep, I put on my gown, the anesthesiologist put an IV in my hand and soon after I was on the table in the retrieval room. They strapped my knees to the table, and next thing I remember was the oxygen mask, and I was out. I woke up in the recovery room, to the doctor talking to us. He told us we got 37 eggs! We had guessed a much lower number, so we were very excited! 

Today we got a call from the embryologist, and 30 of those 37 eggs were mature, and 26 fertilized! That means we had 26 embryos as of this morning. Now we just sit and wait until the transfer on Thursday. When we go in, we will find out how many of those 26 continued to divide and how many didn't make it. The embryologist will give them all grades, and we'll most likely transfer the best two, depending on their grades. The remaining embryos will be frozen for future use! 

Today I have just been resting and trying to stay hydrated. I've been pretty bloated and sore, from the removal of all those eggs. I'm starting to feel a little better, and hopefully that will continue. 

I can't wait to update on Thursday after our retrieval!!!

Trigger Shot

Last night I did my trigger shot. It's 10 units of the HCG hormone, which makes me ovulate exactly 36 hours after taking it. It's crazy how it works! We had a little freak out moment last night when it was time to take it. I had to take it at 9:00pm sharp, and at 8:45, I realized I didn't learn this shot at our injection teach class. We finally figured it out though, and got it done on time. That needle wasn't small though, and it's still pretty sore today. The antibiotics that I'm on are also making me pretty sick to my stomach. And I'm bloated, sore and just blah from all my shots! That's ok though, because my retrieval is tomorrow at 9am and I am so excited! I am praying we get lots of eggs and that they make good embryos to transfer on Thursday! I'm taking it easy and resting today. I can't believe it's finally here again! I have a good feeling this time too!

Shots, shots and more shots.

I've been bad about keeping up with my blog, so here is a little update. 
March 7th I started my shots. I started by doing one of Lupron every morning. Lupron pretty much shuts down the pituitary gland and prevents me from ovulating until the doctor wants me to. On March 14th, I added in the Gonal F shot, which is a stimulation shot. It causes all of the follicles in my ovaries to grow nice and big, so I can produce nice eggs to retrieve. On March 16th, I added another stimulation shot, Menopur. This is the first time I have ever done this shot, and boy does it burn! So, I'm taking four shots a day...Lupron and Gonal F at 7am every morning and Gonal F and Menopur at 7pm every evening.

My main side effects include headaches, tiredness (especially mid day) and mood swings (which are a given). Other than the side effects, the shots are going pretty good. I'm starting to get bruises on my stomach though, so I will probably have to start icing before doing the shots soon. Oh well, small price to pay for the outcome! Oh, and I'm starting to feel my ovaries...it's really weird. The stimulation shots make the follicles grow, so the ovaries start to get achy and full feeling. It's hard to explain, but by the end of the week, I'll REALLY be feeling them. It's funny how fertility meds make you look pregnant, before you even are! If only I could wear my sweat pants to work!

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow for blood work and ultrasound to see how I'm progressing. Let's hope everything is looking good!
I’m estimating the retrieval to be around March 27th. I can't wait!!!

Here is a picture of my shot party...looks fun, right!? :)

Eliminating stress, drama and negativity.

I’ve decided with our third round of IVF right around the corner, that I need to take some extra steps to relieve stress in my life. 

I bought an acupressure mat, that I will start using on a schedule this week. I also bought an IVF CD, which is to help visualize success and eliminate stresses and worries…something I need help with. As hopeful as I am for this next round to work, I keep telling Shawn that I just can’t see myself pregnant. I’ve gotten so many negatives and have had two failed rounds, that seeing it actually working is just hard. Well, I can’t think that way. I need to visualize myself pregnant, and think positive thoughts. Hopefully the CD will help me do that. 

This week is also my last week of alcohol and caffeine. I’ve been slowly weaning myself off of caffeine. Right now I’m down to one cup a day. Next week, I’ll be at zero. That way my body has time to get used to no caffeine, so I’m not crabby from that, on top of all my hormone changes when I start my shots in a couple weeks. As for the alcohol, it’s not like a drink that much anyways, but I decided to eliminate all alcohol intake the month prior to the IVF this time, even the occasional glass of wine. That also won’t be hard because with the side effects from the drugs, drinking never sounds that great anyways! 

Something else I decided to do is stay away from Facebook for a while. I deactivated my account on Friday and honestly haven’t even missed it at all over the weekend. I thought it would be hard to not check it all the time, but it’s not. Some things were just stressing me out on FB. I would get upset anytime I would see a pregnant person complaining, or someone complaining about their kids. And all the pregnancy and birth announcements don’t make it easy either. I’m happy for those who are lucky to get pregnant and have families so easily, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy to see. I need to just focus on myself, my husband and our upcoming IVF cycle, and not have to worry or stress about other people’s posts. It’s not worth it. I’ll be back on FB after our cycle is over…hopefully with good news that we’re pregnant. Until then, I’m just going to focus on more important things that make me happy, and continue to blog through this round of IVF. 

If anyone cares enough to know what we’re going through, they will read this blog. If not, it’s a nice little journal for me and a place to vent my feelings without offending people! March is my month to be selfish. I’m going to avoid making a lot social plans, and I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m not trying to be rude to anyone, but after two failed rounds and the stress IVF puts me through, I’m focusing on me and I’m not going to feel guilty about it.

Some quotes that help me on bad days!

Infertility has a way of sneaking up on you. One day you'll be perfectly fine, happy and optimistic...then the next day, something so tiny can happen and the whole day is ruined. Infertility is just so unpredictable! It's amazing how I have found that some "baby" comments won't upset me at all, but then others push me over the edge. I've collected some quotes that make me feel better, and I'm going to print them and paste them around my house and work. I’m going to try and read them daily to remind myself of what's important, that I can make it through and that I will be stronger because of these challenges I’ve been given. Today is a bad day and a few of these quotes honestly put me in a better mood. I thought I would share them, so maybe they will help someone else too!

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
-Lucille Ball

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change. - Barbara De Angelis

Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before. - James Buckham

I know a lot of people without brains who do an awful lot of talking. - The Scarecrow, Wizard of Oz

When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life. - Greg Anderson

Our prayers are answered not when we are given what we ask, but when we are challenged to be what we can be. - Morris Adler

Life's little annoyances can quickly add up to have a big negative and destructive impact if you let them. Fortunately, you don't have to let them. Instead, you can choose to let them go. You can decide to see the small, relatively meaningless annoyances for what they are, and move quickly beyond them.

Do you really want your attitude to be held hostage by rude, careless, inconsiderate people or random events beyond your control? Of course not, because within you is a positive purpose that is big and beautiful and filled with real meaning.

One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.
― Jarod Kintz

Hope is a renewable option: If you run out of it at the end of the day, you get to start over in the morning.

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.                              ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.
~Ralph Marston

We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective.
~Dwight D. Eisenhower

When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will.
~ Dr. Robert Anthony

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.                ~Lance Armstrong

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.
~Charles F. Kettering

Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.
~Earl Nightingale

If you are going through hell, keep going.
~Winston Churchill

How long should you try? Until.
~Jim Rohn

Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."
Ezra 10:4

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
-- Helen Keller

Being a friend to an infertile person...

Sometimes it's hard for me to stand up for myself or say things, because I don't want to hurt other people's feelings or create conflict. I often just suck it up and bite my tongue. I know it's probably not easy to be a friend to a person going through infertility, trust me I'd change it if I could. I found this blog and I really liked it, so I thought I would share if you feel like reading. It's kind of long, but I think there are good points from both sides. So, yes...I'm blogging about another blog!
http://tertia.typepad.com/so_close/2004/05/how_to_be_good_.html

Happy 2012! This is our year, I can feel it!

Well…the holidays are over and it’s a new year. They honestly weren’t completely horrible, for a couple reasons. For one, we got to spend time with our family and my niece and nephew, who I Iove so much!

Also, we got to move back into our house! For those who don’t know, our house caught fire in October, right before our anniversary. Lighting struck our satellite dish and caught the attic on fire, which then spread to the entire second floor. There was smoke and water damage everywhere. We had to move into a hotel for a week, and then into an apartment for a couple months while it was being repaired. We are finally back in now, and it’s so good to be home! We had to replace a lot of things, but we got to pick out new floors and paint colors. It was like a fresh start for a new year!

Another blessing that this holiday season brought, was that Shawn was offered a new job…and this new job has infertility coverage and adoption assistance! They cover 90% of IVF treatments AND they cover meds. It’s almost impossible to find a job like this, so I know it happened for a reason! I can’t even explain how incredible this is! Now, instead of paying $12,000, we’ll be paying about $1,500! We still have to work out all of the details and everything, and although it's covered, we still have to pray another round of IVF will work for us. Maybe the third time is a charm?

So...although we still have some obstacles ahead of us, the light at the end of the tunnel is much closer now! That being said, here’s to a fabulous new year, filled with lots of blessings and hopefully…a bun in the oven!